From Shadow to Solas

First published in the RTE Guide, 23rd May 2022 as part of the Walking for Wellness series.

The weight of depression had welded me to the sofa, again. Leaden legs and a heavy heart made the thought of going for a walk seem like climbing Mount Everest. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Effective Disorder and treated with copious amounts of medication. I was lethargic to my core. What good would a walk do me?

As I lay there, paralyzed by self-hatred, it was the gentle nudge of a wet nose that got me up, and more importantly, got me out. I wouldn’t have walked for myself, I barely ate or washed for myself. But Shadow, my dearest friend, needed to stretch her four legs.

So, I walked, intending to turn back at the end of the street. Five minutes - no longer. At the end of the street, I felt a wee bit lighter. Sky above me and air in my face, there was something soothing in the rhythm of simply putting one foot in front of the other.

Walking became the cornerstone of my recovery from severe and enduring mental illness. This was something I did for myself, without appointments or waiting lists. I noticed my mood was always better during and after a walk, so I kept doing it. Simple as that.

Walks got longer and more adventurous as Shadow and me sought new routes and green spaces near our Derry housing estate home. My Dad would remark “that dog’s a Labrador now, she’ll soon be a sausage dog, her legs worn short by the miles of walking!”

Shadow didn’t become a dachshund, but she did pass away, aged seventeen. A sore loss of the best therapist I ever had. I kept walking. By this time I had moved to Donegal and fully embraced Ecotherapy; outdoors, barefoot, turning soil, swimming in the cold sea, and always walking. I gradually decreased my daily cocktail of mood-stabiliser, anti-psychotic, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety and sleeping tablets while increasing my doses of nature connection, exercise, and creativity. Feeling and expressing the rawness of suppressed grief and trauma, I healed. Within three years I was medication free and enjoying better mental and physical health than I had ever known.

Alongside this personal journey, I had maintained a successful career devising and delivering mental health training courses for over twenty years. I had always been motivated by my own struggles and the loss of my sister to suicide. Understanding now that ecotherapy and walking profoundly impacted recovery, I resolved to integrate this experience into my professional practice.

At just the right time Solas Donegal opened a part time service in Inishowen and I was employed as a peer support worker. Solas is a HSE mental health recovery programme established in Falcarragh in 2004. It uses a model of walking, talking and listening in green spaces. Our Buncrana based service is a partnership between the Inishowen Development Partnership and the HSE, imbedded in the community with links to the HSE mental health team. Participants are referred to Solas by their GP, mental health professional or social prescriber to engage between one and three days a week, for a maximum of two years. Myself and my colleague Steven, who is a mental health nurse, walk with participants in nature, typically about 8km. We take time on the walk to pause and breathe and finish by sharing lunch and a reflection.

Peer support and co-production are central to Solas. Being connected to others with lived experience of mental health challenges naturally leads to mutual support and shared learning. Over two years, relationships are formed without clinical distance or perceived professional hierarchy. Solas participants are the agents of their own recovery, responsible for identifying and affecting change in areas of their life that are difficult. Also, acknowledging and nurturing where they find hope. As staff, we walk alongside them, both figuratively and literally.

Communication is clearer with fresh air and movement, and the dynamic between staff and participant is different without the containment of four walls. We are shoulder to shoulder; eye contact is optional. We are equal in the elements. If it rains, we all get wet. We share the beauty of stunning views; experience seasons changing, and express awe and gratitude for the natural world around us. There is no pressure, if a participant doesn’t feel able to talk initially, they are still out walking, part of a group, part of the world.

Solas is transformational, I have witnessed this. The first thing I notice is increased confidence, and belief that recovery is possible. Participants become familiar with walks throughout Inishowen that they may not have accessed otherwise. They are motivated to keep enjoying these walks, either by themselves or with family and friends. Sleep improves and the commitment to attend Solas provides routine.

During their time on the programme, participants continue to engage with other mental health professionals, using medications and/or talking therapies if appropriate. There are no contraindications and the only side effects of walking are improved physical health and fitness, and appreciation for the sandwich and hot cuppa tea afterwards. And of course, there’s the craic, the sheer, unbridled laughter in this mental health service is truly life affirming.

The success of Solas shouldn’t be a surprise, the only surprise is that there isn’t a Solas in every community in Ireland. If you have ever thought that a good walk cleared your head, it’s because it did! Evidence shows that the primary colours in nature increase blood flow to the part of the brain where rumination happens. So, science is catching up with what we have always known anecdotally. The increasing evidence supporting ecotherapy coupled with the undeniable importance of physical exercise and human connection for wellbeing make a recovery model of walking and talking and listening in green spaces the ideal programme.

For me now, while co-facilitating Solas part time, I also independently devise and deliver mental health training that specialises in Ecotherapy. I also write, reclaiming the motivation and creativity lost to depression and medication for so many years. On my days off I walk, climb mountains, swim in the sea, and read. Only occasionally, I lie on the sofa.